I've started this blog time and time again over the past few years. Each time with a different angle, intention, and varying levels of commitment. I've had sites and deleted sites, rarely posting and never publicizing their existence. Disappointment in myself turned to irritation which would quickly bleed into despair. How could I own a bevy of ideas, this blog being one of them, and not make good on a single thing? Though I would never verbally confirm it, my lack of action showed my commitment to remain in a cycle of nothingness. Same in, same out year in and year out.
From the outside everything looked like it was going well and to a certain extent it was. Problem is, when you're aware of your potential, you know (when no else does) that you're not living up to it. This is not to be confused with being hard on oneself. We know the difference.
After a health scare in July 2016 my "almost existence" was exposed. I cringe using the word exposed because deep down I knew. It's easy to apply band-aids when their seemingly isn't any rush to fully realize yourself. What caused me the most pain while sorting out my health was not the fear of death but the fear of dying without acting upon my potential. And the bigger picture where I play a part in a greater universe on Earth and beyond it- sits closer to me. The shift has me seeing life brighter even when I can't find the light.
So the thing about starting? Start