And I think it's gonna be a long, long time...

Frustrated by job applications, reviewing yet another rejection email, and wondering if this was a sign I'm truly not meant for office life... I intended to get lost in fashion content on YouTube but he Rocket Man video stepped up instead. The melody lures, the lyrics are lonely- but over the years...  I cannot fully explain but it just is what it is to me. I needed the visuals to remember why I pressed play on the tune in the past and I connected with a familiar tune in a new way.  My connection to what lies beyond this planet has allowed to pick up the pieces of my life when things are miserable or mediocre, remembering the bigger picture. Watching the video was a reminder that my journey on Earth, through space and time, is just me and Him come what may.

Check it out here: https://youtu.be/DtVBCG6ThDk

Sci-Fi Over Medium

When it feels right I like to watch short sci-fi films over breakfast. It's a great alternative when I don't want to read but still want something intriguing to fill my brain. A reader most of my life- I've found myself in quite the steady relationship with quirky films (putting some distance between present day me and the "but the book is better" lady I was). There is also something to be said for my ability to concentrate that feels to be diminishing...? I've tasked myself with completing one item at a time, refraining from having 30 tabs open at once, and just generally scale back that "multi-tasking" I love to do to appear accomplished. Note: currently doing a poor job of holding myself accountable but writing about it is a good reminder. Now, back to sci-fi: 

The two films that I stumbled across last Tuesday were the same in their difference and I moved forward that day with a bit more purpose.  And since I set out only to be entertained that morning I'd say it is a win that I was given more. 

Thinking creatively about the unknown in The Narrow World: https://vimeo.com/user4073629/httpsvimeocom184896245

A reminder to remain rooted while consuming the light in Jonah : https://youtu.be/wWZ9Y-kKcqo

When You Don't Look Up

I had walked a path several times over the span of a week and the day these photographs were taken was the first time I had looked up. Driven by only one thing- to sit at the coffee shop on the other end of this plaza, I had missed such obvious ceiling decor. Blinded by what? A growing task list? To be quick at securing a spot near an outlet (ah, technology)? Who knows. But eyes not seeing was a good reminder to open them even when I think I've seen it all. 

I had walked a path several times over the span of a week and the day these photographs were taken was the first time I had looked up. Driven by only one thing- to sit at the coffee shop on the other end of this plaza, I had missed such obvious ceiling decor. Blinded by what? A growing task list? To be quick at securing a spot near an outlet (ah, technology)? Who knows. But eyes not seeing was a good reminder to open them even when I think I've seen it all. 

The Thing About Starting

I've started this blog time and time again over the past few years. Each time with a different angle, intention, and varying levels of commitment. I've had sites and deleted sites, rarely posting and never publicizing their existence. Disappointment in myself turned to irritation which would quickly bleed into despair. How could I own a bevy of ideas, this blog being one of them, and not make good on a single thing? Though I would never verbally confirm it, my lack of action showed my commitment to remain in a cycle of nothingness. Same in, same out year in and year out. 

From the outside everything looked like it was going well and to a certain extent it was. Problem is, when you're aware of your potential, you know (when no else does) that you're not living up to it. This is not to be confused with being hard on oneself. We know the difference.

After a health scare in July 2016 my "almost existence" was exposed. I cringe using the word exposed because deep down I knew. It's easy to apply band-aids when their seemingly isn't any rush to fully realize yourself. What caused me the most pain while sorting out my health was not the fear of death but the fear of dying without acting upon my potential. And the bigger picture  where I play a part in a greater universe on Earth and beyond it- sits closer to me. The shift has me seeing life brighter even when I can't find the light. 

So the thing about starting? Start